Cute, huh! It's gotten to where I don't go out in public without a hat. My hair is so thin now that you can see bald spots on the top. Ewww! Like I've said before, I don't want to look like a diseased dog so it's time to start the hat parade! I really like this style, called the "cadet cap". It's like an uptown version of the baseball cap. So far, I've got two of them. I think it looks better with some hair hanging out the bottom, so I may wait to shave it all off for a little longer. The problem is the falling out process. There is hair everywhere!!! Ewww again! At least it's long enough to be able to pick most of it off my clothes and pillow. But when it falls down my arm, I keep thinking there's a spider crawling on me! Which I honestly would prefer (sigh), it's no fun losing your hair. And once it's all gone, there's no way I can deny what I'm going through. I mean, really, how many women are bald for the fun of it! Bald head = cancer patient, period. So far, I've been able to pass as normal and it's been nice not having the "C" front and center every waking moment of my day. I can't stand the pity and the awkwardness. It's like I'll be having a regular conversation, but if I mention that I'm going through chemo I turn into an alien with three heads. People seem shocked that I'm walking around upright and not on my deathbed. And then they feel uncomfortable which makes me feel like I need to reassure them I'm okay. Which I may not be at that particular moment. It's just such a personal thing to have to deal with on such a public level. Most of the time, I'm open and direct with everything, not too worried about sharing. But it has been nice to be able to keep it to myself if I choose to. Not for long . . .
On the other hand, playing the cancer card can have its advantages. I think what I'll start doing once the hair is gone and I'm officially "out of the closet", I'll keep a list of all the perks I've gotten from having cancer. That could be fun! I remember my first chemo go-round, I got John out of a speeding ticket when the officer saw me in the passenger seat without my scarf. Bonus!! Wonder what I can score this time around . . . hee, hee, hee! I'll keep you posted!
On the other hand, playing the cancer card can have its advantages. I think what I'll start doing once the hair is gone and I'm officially "out of the closet", I'll keep a list of all the perks I've gotten from having cancer. That could be fun! I remember my first chemo go-round, I got John out of a speeding ticket when the officer saw me in the passenger seat without my scarf. Bonus!! Wonder what I can score this time around . . . hee, hee, hee! I'll keep you posted!
3 comments:
I like your hat! (Do you remember the book "Go Dog Go"?) One thing I love about you is how you can make lemonade- or margueritas- out of lemons! :)
You look adorable in your hat! Your positive attitude is truly AMAZING! You are definitely an inspiration!
I say you plan a trip to Louisville for the Derby in the spring. EVERYONE has on a hat, and the more outrageous, the better! With the girls helping you design a cool hat, and adding in a mint julep, you will be the Belle of the Derby!!
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