Friday, December 21, 2007

#4 over and done with!

It's been a while since I've posted. I was been busy wrapping up Christmas shopping before my next treatment. Thankfully, I got it all done and had my treatment yesterday. #4 over and done with! It went pretty well. I was able to relax and rest for most of the time and read a couple magazines. I had some cold symptoms, so I think the Benadryl all went towards drying up my nose instead of giving me the jitters. Just a little "antsy legs" was all. There was a lady there who was having the same meds as me and she was on her 6th and last treatment. She had an orange tiger stuffed animal in her chair that the nurses let people keep with them during their last treatment. Two more times and the tiger is mine!!!

I'll be getting the neulasta shot after each treatment from now on to keep my counts from falling. I got it today and it still stings like a bugger!! My fingers and feet are also getting more and more numb. The nurse said it was normal and should get better once I stop treatment. But it's very annoying.

I'm feeling pretty crummy already. After my treatment on Thursday, we went to see Santa at the Mall of Georgia. Then we went to the food court for dinner. I saw the chinese place and it looked really good so I got a huge plate full of sesame chicken and rice. Big mistake! The msg and seasonings were all it took for the chemo sickness to kick in. I haven't fully gotten rid of the nausea yet! I took an anti-nausea pill today, Phenergen, and slept ALL day long. I woke up only long enough to go to Caroline's Christmas party at school then the dr's for the shot. Then home and back to sleep. I'm finally awake now and it's after 11pm. But I doubt I'll stay up long. It's so much better to be asleep and not feel the nausea and ickiness! I just hope I'm feeling better by Christmas. I know the pattern now and it should ease up after a couple days. Maybe just a bad weekend is all I'm in for, then Christmas Eve I'll get that rebound effect and be back to myself. Thank goodness we are ready for Santa Claus! Smartest thing I ever did was getting my shopping done early!

This year we'll be staying home on Christmas Day. Normally we get together with my mom's side of the family for the crazy "Bannister Christmas!" But with me and mom both going through chemo and not having the same stamina, we decided it would be best to skip it. It really makes me sad, this is the first Christmas EVER that we won't get to experience the chaos! But I just think staying up late on Christmas Eve to "help" Santa, then getting up early with the girls, opening presents and having Jan and her family come over in the afternoon . . . I will probaby be miserable by evening anyway. Heck, I can't even climb the stairs without panting and I've started taking baths instead of showers so I can lie down! And mom can only last a couple hours per outing. Shopping has been a challenge for her because she gives out way before she's done. Gosh, I remember when we used to have shopping marathons - we'd get out early and go to a few stores, have lunch, go to a few more, have dinner, then more stores, and finally have a late dessert before crashing at home! It's been a tradition to be in a store, any store, at closing on Christmas Eve! It really makes me hate the big "C" all that much more for ruining our traditions and all our fun!

So I'm going to wish everyone "Merry Health!" this Christmas! And a "Healthy New Year!" I sure hope 2008 turns out to be a lot better!!!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Ahh, ahhh, ahhhh!

Can you hear the angels singing? Because I sure can! The clouds have parted, the sun is shining, I FEEL BETTER!!! It's amazing how the chemo can make you feel one step away from the grave on one day, and back to full energy the next. I should know by now that this is the pattern. But, I tell you, those bad days are soooo bad, it's hard to remember that you'll EVER feel good again.

Maybe it's because I had a long talk with God last night about giving me endurance to get though this. Maybe He figured I had hit my limit and took it all away during the night. Or, maybe He heard some of your prayers for me and gave me a break. If so, then THANK YOU!

I know I could not get through this without His help. He's my spotter, you know the one who makes sure the weights don't crush you when you're pressing dumbbells. So I know the chemo won't crush me, but He is definitely making sure I get the full workout! Imagine how buff I'm going to be spiritually when this is all over!! :-)

Monday, December 3, 2007

Chemo stinks, again!

Uuuuugggghhhh! Just so you don't start thinking after reading my blog entries that I'm feeling great, I thought I'd share my thoughts today. It's the third day after treatment and I feel miserable! My head hurts, I feel nauseous, I feel uncomfortable in my skin! I slept most of the day except when I went for a neulasta shot (this is like the neupogen that helps build white blood cells only this is supposed to last longer). I'll probably get one after the rest of my treatments. Let me say, it stings like a bugger!!! It causes the bone pain, so I feel even miserabl-er. I keep thinking, they shoot horses don't they?! At least I know it's not going to last forever, maybe just one more day (pleeaasse!). I've taken Tylenol and Aleve. But I've got some prescription painkillers leftover from my surgery and they're looking pretty yummy right about now!

I started putting up Christmas decorations on Saturday and got halfway done before the misery set in. John has been great at doing the rest and cleaning up the mess. Our house looks beautiful! So at least I get the pretty twinkling lights to cheer me up as I wallow in misery on the couch. Normally, I am a control freak who wants to do things my way . . . I am so OVER that! If the nativity scene is not set up the way I normally do it, well, okay! Because even if the sheep is placed beside the shepherd instead of beside the kings, I'm still going to feel sick!! So, yes, I've lowered my expectations for the perfect Christmas this year. My goal this year is to feel better as quickly as possible, period!

I did finally get put on the sub lists for Rachel Rose's preschool and the elementary schools nearby. I've even gotten a few calls to come in. Most of the elementary schools have people that know me (since I have taught in the system for 9 years!) and know what I'm going through. So hopefully, they will understand if I have to say no from time to time, and continue to call me later on. I am really excited about being a sub and getting back to work to some degree. Extra money is always a good thing!

By the way, please ignore that stupid, happy face in my photo on the left - it really irks me to look at it when I'm feeling this crummy!