Monday, December 3, 2007

Chemo stinks, again!

Uuuuugggghhhh! Just so you don't start thinking after reading my blog entries that I'm feeling great, I thought I'd share my thoughts today. It's the third day after treatment and I feel miserable! My head hurts, I feel nauseous, I feel uncomfortable in my skin! I slept most of the day except when I went for a neulasta shot (this is like the neupogen that helps build white blood cells only this is supposed to last longer). I'll probably get one after the rest of my treatments. Let me say, it stings like a bugger!!! It causes the bone pain, so I feel even miserabl-er. I keep thinking, they shoot horses don't they?! At least I know it's not going to last forever, maybe just one more day (pleeaasse!). I've taken Tylenol and Aleve. But I've got some prescription painkillers leftover from my surgery and they're looking pretty yummy right about now!

I started putting up Christmas decorations on Saturday and got halfway done before the misery set in. John has been great at doing the rest and cleaning up the mess. Our house looks beautiful! So at least I get the pretty twinkling lights to cheer me up as I wallow in misery on the couch. Normally, I am a control freak who wants to do things my way . . . I am so OVER that! If the nativity scene is not set up the way I normally do it, well, okay! Because even if the sheep is placed beside the shepherd instead of beside the kings, I'm still going to feel sick!! So, yes, I've lowered my expectations for the perfect Christmas this year. My goal this year is to feel better as quickly as possible, period!

I did finally get put on the sub lists for Rachel Rose's preschool and the elementary schools nearby. I've even gotten a few calls to come in. Most of the elementary schools have people that know me (since I have taught in the system for 9 years!) and know what I'm going through. So hopefully, they will understand if I have to say no from time to time, and continue to call me later on. I am really excited about being a sub and getting back to work to some degree. Extra money is always a good thing!

By the way, please ignore that stupid, happy face in my photo on the left - it really irks me to look at it when I'm feeling this crummy!

1 comment:

Timestep said...

I'm sorry that you are feeling mierable. I'm so glad that John is doing a wonderful job decorating.

And I love seeing the smiling picture. Because it shows your strength, your hope, your determination.

In the few short years I've known you (boy hard to believe I'm started to think in years here), you have always shown those three things in everything you do.