Back from the doctor

Good visit today! The opening in my incision is okay to leave alone (thank you, Lord, it does not need packing!). He says it has reopened from the chemo. Basically, the chemo never allowed it to heal completely and it has weakened the skin over it. It's not bleeding or oozing too bad, so he says it's okay to leave it alone and let it try and reclose on its own. Of course if it starts showing signs of infection, I'll have to deal with it. But for now, I can just walk around like normal with a quarter-size hole in my belly. Okey-dokey! He mentioned again another surgery once chemo is done to redo my scar. The first time he mentioned this I laughed at him - No Way, was I going under the knife ever, ever, ever again! But now I'm thinking I need some work done on it so that it can heal properly. The opening will probably leave a hollow place even if it does heal closed, and the hard knot on the right is beginning to be painful again. He says he can take all that out by cutting a long ellipse around the scar line and pulling it closed. Almost a mini tummy-tuck (Woooo Hoooo!). Then without chemo interfering, it should heal like it should. I've never had a nice scar. Even after my c-section/hysterectomy with Caroline, it took forever to close up good. I lived with that ugly scar for 6 years. And now I've got this monstrosity. I remember at the pool last year, there was a lady who was newly pregnant and just beginning to get a little bulge. She was wearing a bikini and I noticed a very, very thin pale line across the top of her bikini bottom. It took me a while to realize this was her c-section scar from a previous pregnancy. It was beautiful!!! I wanted one like that soooo bad! So, yes, I am considering scar revision surgery in a few months. If you think I'm crazy, just ask and I'll post pictures of my scar now on my blog and you'll agree with me (after you finish gagging!).

The dr read my lab results and decided all of my counts were a little too low. He ordered me a shot of Procrit (red blood cell booster) today which hopefully will give me a little more energy. I've been wondering why I've been more tired than usual the past few days, so it makes sense that I'm a little anemic. I also had more labs drawn and my platelets have not come up enough for me to get chemo tomorrow. We'll try again on Sunday. He said it's not as big a deal for me to be delayed a week or two as it is for someone who is stage 2 or 3, since my chemo is only prophylactic (preventive). The problem is, John is leaving for the PGA show in Orlando on Tuesday and I DEPEND on him on my post-chemo/misery-filled/one step from the grave/shoot me now/yucky days. I'm considering asking if I can hold off on the treatment until he gets back, and actually maybe taking the girls down for the long weekend. Is that bad? It would be 12 days of a delay if I do this. As much as I want to get this over with, I don't know what I will do with John out of town. We'll see what the chemo nurses have to say . . .

Let's see, not much else to report from me. Mom has begun a new chemo, Gemzar. She had her first dose on Monday and has been having terrible migraines and dizziness. She's actually spending the night with us tonight for safety reasons. We're hoping she develops a tolerance for it and this is just an initial reaction. If so, she'll get it every Monday for 3 weeks, then one week off. Her hair is coming back and should regrow with this new treatment. She's worried that it's coming in too gray . . . better watch out, she'll be red before we know it!!