My cancer journey is not over . . .

I had my PET scan last Thursday and I talked to the nurse this evening about the results. Right now there are new spots "lighting up" indicating cancer - 2 new lymph nodes in my upper abdomen, patchy spots in my lungs, and a spot on my right femur. Apparently, all the original lymph nodes are now clear, but I have these new ones that have popped up. The plan is more chemo . . . just a different drug. But before I start that, he wants me to see a lung specialist and possibly get a scope to find out what's going on in my lungs. I still have this horrible hacky cough that just won't go away. My lungs did light up on the PET, so there's a chance the cancer is there, too. The femur thing is really weird. I've had no issues there, so who knows what that's all about!
So, I guess my cancer journey is not over yet. I was really, really hoping for a clean scan and an end finally to all this. But I know it's all out of my hands. It's hard not knowing what's going to happen in the near future or how my health will be. It makes planning anything impossible, it makes looking ahead pointless. I've just got to take it one day at a time and keep plugging along.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

And now . . . PNEUMONIA!

I've gotten through shingles and cyberknife, got back to work, thought I was on the mend. Now, pneumonia! After feeling progressively worse over the last few weeks, I finally went to my primary dr last Monday. My symptoms were a dry, hacky cough, extreme fatigue, and upset stomach. He did a chest x-ray and didn't like what he saw and wanted me to show it to my oncologist on Wednesday. Dr. S wasn't able to view it, but did have my blood test results. My CA125 is up to 59. Worst case scenario - the cancer is in my lungs. He is going to do a PET scan at the beginning of February (next week).

BUT THEN . . . I got a message from my primary and he said the radiologist looked at my chest x-ray and said I have pneumonia. I actually was relieved because that would explain all my symptoms, even the high CA125. So, now I'm on a steroid and antibiotic and go back in 10 days. Dr. S will probably want to wait until this is cleared up before doing the PET. I hope it's soon . . . and I hope it turns out clear!

I am trying to take it easy and trying to take care of myself. I'm realizing how susceptible I am to catching all this stuff, and I'm trying to be smart about it. Health first!

Cyberknife done, shingles still lingering

So I did have the cyberknife done on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Tuesday's treatment got cut short because I began vomiting everywhere. Yeah, nice. We weren't sure if it was from the shingles, the meds, or the radiation to my stomach. Whatever it was, it was not pleasant. I had to leave in a hospital gown and with a big bowl. I threw up consistently for an hour and a half. Not a fun ride home. The next day I didn't eat beforehand, skipped the anti-viral meds, and instead took an anti-nausea. Everything went fine. Just long and boring. My arms got stiff and sore since I had to lie with them crossed in front for the 2 hour treatment. Then on Thursday, it was fine again, just longer since they had to tack on the missed portion from the first day. But I am done with cyberknife!

I still feel yucky from the shingles, but I'm still taking the anti-nausea pills and the painkillers. I sure hope it gets over with soon!

Will wait a few weeks before getting scanned and tested. Til then, just hanging in there. Happy New Year!

Not the best Christmas carol!

"Dashing through the snow, On our way to urgent care, Worst headache in the world, And itching everywhere! Oh, Shingle bells, Shingle bells, Shingles all the way, oh how miserable it is, To be sick on Christmas Day!"

Yep, I got shingles! After waking up last Tuesday with a horrible headache, fever, chills, and nausea, I knew something was up. Went to my primary doctor on Thursday who suspected shingles at first, then changed their minds. Gave me a shot of antibiotic and sent me home with steroid cream for the rash and oral antibiotic for the fever. Friday night began throwing up and kept on until Christmas morning. Went to the ER on Sunday and finally diagnosed with shingles. My head was still killing me and my neck and shoulder were aching too where the rash was. But the ER docs introduced me to my new best friend . . . Dilaudid, ahhhhh! It's a very lovely narcotic painkiller that totally put me in a new dimension. As I lie there in the triage room with the lights dimmed and a nice warm blanket, I relished in the drug-induced daze of feeling no pain, finally.

They also gave me some anti-nausea and anti-viral meds, along with more painkillers, and let me go home. So far, I have felt great! They said it shouldn't last more than 2 weeks. But I'm supposed to have the Cyberknife treatments on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'm not sure how shingles complicates things . . . I'll just have to wait and talk to Dr. M tomorrow.

So, we did have a wonderful Christmas despite my misery. The girls finally got a Wii, which has been hysterical to watch them play. Rachel Rose doing the boxing game makes me smile more than anything. Her trash-talking her opponent is truly impressive. "You sorry loser! You're going down! I'm just getting started with you!" But it does make me rethink our idea of starting her in martial arts anytime soon!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! And no Shingle Bells!!

It's a Christmas miracle!

We got a call this morning from Madge, the sweet insurance coordinator for Dr. McLaughlin. We won our appeal - Blue Cross is going to cover my Cyberknife treatments! Apparently, Dr. M spoke with a doctor at BCBS and explained my case. God bless Dr. M, and God bless Madge, and God bless BCBS! The Christmas spirit is alive and well!

So I will get a call next Monday telling me my treatment time. Then I will go on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Dr. M feels very confident that the radiation will eradicate the tumor entirely. So do I!

Meanwhile, John, the girls, and I have been enjoying the season and being home together. We have drunk gallons of hot cocoa, watched a ton of Christmas shows on TV, turned on Christmas music at dinner every night, and even went on a tacky lights tour! If you're interested, check out Hillbrooke neighborhood in Alpharetta - incredible!!

Oh yeah, and my hair has started to grow back. I have a very close crew cut on my head and teensy-eensy eyelashes. I'm hoping by the end of January I can put away the hats and scarves.

MEEEEERRRRYYY CHRISTMAS, everybody!!! I hope yours is amazing!!

I like this gut better!

On Wednesday, I went to see Dr. Salmieri and he had a more encouraging outlook. He talked with Dr. McLaughlin and instead of more cancer causing my levels to go up, he feels it could be from these two remaining nodes. Dr. M. wanted to know how he could be sure, and he responded he didn't know! He said he could only treat what he knew about and right now the scans show only those two nodes. He wants to eliminate them and then see what happens. So I will be having Cyberknife alone for now. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!

I went yesterday to Dr. M's office to get the planning started. They did a simulation and a CT scan. I will have the actual treatments on Dec. 27, 28, and 29. Each treatment could last up to 2 hours. He gives a prescription for Valium to take beforehand, so John will have to drive me to each one. Thank goodness he is home from work! But I appreciate all the offers to help, it's nice to know I can count on help!!

I asked Dr. S how long we would watch my numbers before possibly going back on chemo. He said 2 months since the cyberknife can cause inflammation which can cause my level to rise. He wants to give it some time to "settle in." I also asked him if he would start chemo with only my CA125 as an indicator. He said no, not if I didn't have any other symptoms. So the plan is to have the Cyberknife done, keep watching my CA125, keep getting scans, and get back to living my life! I'm just excited because with a guarantee of 2 months without chemo, my hair should come back! That will make me feel better more than anything!

Thank you, everyone, for all your good wishes and prayers for me! It's been hard to stay positive this whole time, but it's easier with my cheerleaders!!

Waiting til Monday . . .

Yesterday, John and I met with Dr. McLaughlin again. After finding out my CA125 is up to 40, I decided to go ahead with the Cyberknife option. But when I told Dr. M that my level is rising, he gave me some disappointing info. He said his gut is telling him that there is more cancer than just the two lymph nodes . . . he said if there were just those 2 nodes, my levels would be remaining near the same, but with a marked increase it's indicative of more cancer. It's just not showing up yet on scans. Great.

He's going to talk with Dr. Salmieri on Monday and the two of them will decide the best next course of treatment. He said he could go ahead and do Cyberknife on the two nodes and knock them out of the way. Then I might need more chemo if my CA125 doesn't go down after that.

I am praying that his "gut" is wrong, and it is the two nodes alone that are causing my numbers to go up. And that the Cyberknife treatment alone will put me back in remission. Anything is possible, God is still the God of miracles!

I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers! So so so much!!