Saturday, June 12, 2010

Scan will be Monday

My PET/CT scan will be on Monday at 3:00. We'll find out then how much cancer there is. Dr. S will call me on Tuesday with the results and with his recommendation on treatment protocol. He mentioned repeating the original chemo which was the combination Taxol/Carboplatin. This time, though, instead of having one mega dose every three weeks, I could have a smaller dose every week for 3 weeks. He did say it would take about 12 weeks, then he would do another scan to see if it was working.

My thinking is this - my original cancer was essentially removed with surgery since there was no evidence of disease after my total hysterectomy, appendectomy, omenectomy, etc. The Taxol/Carbo chemo treatments were only given as insurance that any microscopic cells possibly lurking undetected would be caught and killed. So, fast-forward 3 years and cancer is back which leads me to believe that there were, in fact, microscopic cells lurking undetected back then and the Taxol/Carbo DID NOT KILL THEM! Why, then, should I believe another 6 rounds of it will kill it now???

I know that cancer treatment is mostly a guessing game, a series of trial-and-error attempts. Dr. S talked about how they have an arsenal of weapons against cancer, but they don't want to exhaust every means too soon and have nothing left if it keeps getting worse. But again, my thinking is this - if you have an ant pile with a few ants, you can start by spraying it with weak bug spray. But if it doesn't work, then the pile just gets bigger. So you try a stronger spray. Still doesn't work and the pile keeps getting bigger. By the time you finally break out the Amdro, you've got half your yard infested with ants and all your grass ruined by their piles. Do I want to risk putting my body (and family and friends) through that? Am I ready for a long cancer battle?

I'm only 40 years old. Caroline is only 8 and Rachel Rose is only 5. It just makes me mad that there is not a quick fix to this! I mean, it's 2010, they should have a cure by now!

Did I mention I'm at the anger stage right now?


Paula said...

Melinda -- you must go buy the China Study. Amazing book by a brilliant cancer researcher.

Dana H.B. said...

I can certainly understand your anger and frustration. I love your ant hill analogy. I would want something very aggressive as well, even if it meant a really tough road ahead. I'd rather a tough, but someone short road that equaled a better chance at KILLING it now and longevity ahead rather than a short, hit or miss, maybe we got it all this time kind of treatment.

Thanks again for posting. You are in our prayers, and as I told you, please call on people to help you with whatever you need. We are here. Praying. Wanting to help ease the burden in any way we physically can.

Julie W. said...

You may have no idea how many of us are reading your blog, sending our prayers, and ready to help out in whatever way we can. Anger is a good stage--better to be angry than have it bottled up! You have both classes behind you 100% + more! We love you!

Anonymous said...

Melinda, I have no words of advice, no consoling words: my heart aches for you. But I will pray for you and your girls and John, and I have faith that you are strong enough to get through this.

Erin said...

We are here for you, in whatever way you need us. We love you and want nothing more than to help. You, John and those precious girls are in our thoughts and prayers...every second! You are so strong, you are going to get though this.

Melinda said...

Paula, I did get the book, will start reading it soon! And Dana, Erin, Heidi, and Julie - I so appreciate your positive thoughts and prayers!