Dehydration evil

So I had my treatment on Monday. Supposedly my last one. It went pretty well. I slept through most of it which is always a good thing. Tuesday, Mom came over to help with the girls and spend the night. I took advantage of the extra help and stayed asleep as much as possible. Normally, this would be a good thing, but I ended up not staying hydrated. In fact, I barely ate or drank anything for two days. So Wednesday afternoon, I got up from a long nap and went downstairs to get a glass of water. As I was filling up the glass I could feel myself blacking out, sort of like a head rush. I made my way to the kitchen table and sat down, then apparently I slumped over and was out. Mom was downstairs doing some laundry and she saw me going down. When I didn't wake up, she called 911. I had spilled the water and she started putting ice on the back of my neck. I roused up and finally came to before the EMT's arrived. I was pretty sure my blood sugar had dropped and I'd had a serious head rush from being asleep so long. But the EMT's suggested I go to the hospital to get checked out since I had never done anything like this before. So off we went . . . in the ambulance. Thank goodness, they did not run the sirens.
At the hospital, they did a test to see if I was dehydrated. They had me lie down flat and took my blood pressure. It was fine. Then they had me sit up and they took it again. Still fine. Then they had me stand up and took it again. I was barely able to stand long enough for them to take it before I got woozy again and really nauseous. When they did get a reading, it was like 60/30. So apparently, I was dehydrated! They ended up giving me 2 liters of fluids and told me I would've kept passing out every time I stood up if I hadn't come in to the ER.
They also did a CAT scan of my head to make sure there was nothing wrong with my brain causing me to lose consciousness. Thankfully, it checked out fine. Seriously, it did!
So I finally got to come home after they did the standing test again and I passed. John came home and was there with me. Jan came over before he could get there. And mom stayed home to get the girls for me. I think I scared her pretty bad. My poor mother . . . what she has to go through with herself and now with me!
Today I'm feeling okay, just typical weakness and naseau from the chemo. This is supposed to be my last treatment, but when I went to see Dr. S last week, he tried to tell me that I would need two more treatments. He explained that the normal course is 6 rounds of every three weeks. Since I began with 2 weekly rounds, they wouldn't count toward the 6. I don't think so! We're going to do a PET scan in a couple of weeks and see where we stand. If it's good, then I get to stop. So I am praying, and praying, and praying! These treatments are getting worse every time. They have a cumulative effect and I hate to think how bad it could get if I had to have any more. Will keep you posted soon!

Not much is new

Not too much new is happening with me . . . we did find a new home for Cisco and so we are down to one dog, Penny. We've been able to keep her inside and it's working out really well. She's a sweetheart!

I made it through the ickies of my last treatment and went back to work this past week. I am fighting a chest cold of some kind and have had a horrible cough the past few days. I had to leave work early on Thursday and then Friday was pretty miserable. But today is Saturday and I plan on resting up this weekend, so I'll be good to go for next week. One more week of work, then one more week off for treatment, then I should be able to start back to normal.

The girls and I have been enjoying this great weather and getting ready for Halloween. So far we have watched Halloweentown I, Halloweentown II, and Halloweentown High . . . AND they are all on DVR so I'm sure we'll be watching them quite a bit more!!! Gotta love the Disney Channel! John is still in NC until December, but we are planning to go up and visit next weekend. We have only been able to go up twice this season, normally we go up every weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing the mountains in the fall, they never fail to impress!

Well, our objective today is to find Halloween costumes . . . if there are any left! Wish us luck!!

Just one more to go!

Just got back from chemo and as usual it was long and icky. I already feel a little queasy and promptly ate a lemon as soon as I walked in the door. Gonna be a rough patch for a few days now. Hope it goes by quickly.

So I have 3 weeks until my next and LAST treatment. Then a couple weeks after that, I'll get scanned again to see if I can be through or if I need more treatment. I'll say it right now, if he suggests I continue chemo I'm gonna need a straightjacket - because that will absolutely send me over the edge!!!!

But I am trusting in God to show me my path and I know he will protect me on my journey whatever it may be.

I'm attaching a picture for your enjoyment. Rachel Rose drew it - it's me and her and Penny, the dog! Don't you like my scarf!!

By the way, we are looking for a home for our other dog, Cisco. He and Penny together are just too much for me to handle. I'll attach his picture, too. Please feel free to pass his photos around along with my email, young1710@comcast.net

Thanks so much! Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely fall weather!

Plugging along . . .

Good news - my CA125 cancer marker is down. It is now 34.5 which is technically in the normal range! It has been as low as 6, so I don't think I'll feel totally reassured until it gets lower. But for now, it's something to celebrate. I wish I could say I felt great, but not so much. I cannot STAND chemo!!! My last treatment was Thursday and I was nauseous the whole time I was getting infused. I'm beginning to think it's a psychological thing because the minute I enter the the building, the wave hits. I can't even stand to watch the same shows that I normally watch during treatment. I used to enjoy "The Doctors" while I was in the chair. But now, even on normal days when I'm home, if I happen to see it while I'm channel surfing, a nausea wave hits. Even the bag I carry on chemo days has to be hidden away or it triggers me. I will be SO GLAD when I never have to have chemo EVER AGAIN!

This last treatment was number 8, but technically it was 4th in the 6-round series. I only have 2 more to go, which would seem like nothing. But uuuggghhhh, I can't think about it right now! I had the chemo on Thursday and Friday was okay in the afternoon, then in the evening the ickies hit. I had to have a Neulasta shot to keep my white counts from dropping and it has given me horrible leg aches. I'm still dealing with those. So Saturday and Sunday were spent writhing on the couch trying to get comfortable, making a mess in the kitchen trying to find foods that tasted normal, and popping pills to try and stay asleep. Thankfully, Mom and Jan took the girls for me and they actually got to enjoy the long weekend. Monday wasn't much better, but Tuesday things started looking up. Finally, today I am able to eat in small portions and not gag, and more importantly, drink something. It has been horrible to be so thirsty, but not able to taste anything good. Water with lemon is about all I can swallow. Unbelievably, though, I'm gaining weight! Something about chemo makes you blow up!! Bleh!!

Sorry for all the whining. It's just hard to stay positive at this point in the process. Chemo has a cumulative effect, so by now I'm pretty much hitting rock bottom. Even good days are dampened by the impending doom of the next treatment. I'm going to try to stay in the moment and appreciate the good stuff, not think about the bad. I need some mental endurance - cancer is more than the physical.

But I do want to continue saying thanks to everyone who is helping me out and is offering to help! I hate to think where I would be without my supporters!!

Chemo delay

Yesterday was my scheduled chemo treatment. But when I got there I was told my white blood cell counts were too low. So they gave me a Neupogen shot to help build them back up, and chemo is rescheduled for Thursday. So much for my attempt at having an ick-free weekend! It seems I'm always feeling worst on the the weekends and since John is away at work, the girls are stuck home with me not feeling like doing anything fun. I feel so bad for them. Just this morning, Caroline was saying she was sad we didn't get to go to the beach this summer. I told her I was sad, too, just as much as she was. But we didn't know I was going to get cancer and it was going to ruin everything!

Plus, I was planning to teach next week. I've been visiting the classroom to get to know the kids, and they are such sweeties! I was all prepared to work. But now, I'm not going to be feeling better in time. Maybe the week after, I can work some.

And! the Neupogen shot makes my bones hurt since it stimulates the bone marrow to make more white blood cells. My head, legs, shoulders, back, all ache. At least, Motrin works for these pains. Maybe it means that my white count is coming up and I'll be able to get the treatment on Thursday. yipppee.

And, and! John is not going to be able to come home for a week and with the ickies, I won't feel like going up to see him. Not even to meet halfway for dinner together (I tried that once with the ickies and it was terrible!). We all miss him when he's gone that long.

So, I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Not proud of it, but there it is. Maybe tomorrow I can look on the bright side.

The deed is done!

So, last night we buzzed my hair. John did actually. It really was time and I really was ready. We all gathered in the bathroom and did the deed. It took a while and made a huge mess (which John cleaned up, bless his heart). I do still have stubble left. I heard that it's not a good idea to clean shave it, irritated skin or something, so we used a #1 guard. It really was thin so there's not a lot of stubble. I guess the length was hiding most of the bald spots. But it does feel fuzzy. The girls have had fun rubbing it. They took it pretty well. Both were not happy when I told them it was time to do it. I think Caroline is at the age that being embarrassed is a huge deal. She has made a few comments that I will wear a hat or scarf in public, especially at her school. And, of course, I will. Rachel Rose just said, "Oh, I hate it when Mommy has to do this!" Like it's a routine occurrence! I just hate that they have to have a sick mommy who looks like this. But then isn't it part of a Mom's duty to embarrass her kids! I think I win this award!

So, now I have to get down the bag o'scarves from the storage closet. Never thought I would have to see those again! Maybe I'll get some new ones, just so it doesn't seem like I'm repeating the past. This is a new experience, I should embrace it! Let the New Adventures of Melinda Young, Cancer Patient begin!

Today's the day! Buzzzzz . . . .

Yep, I'm feelin' it - today is The Day. I'm ready. Getting the clippers out, I'll probably need scissors first, broom/dust pan. It's gonna happen Today. It is time. Hair is everywhere. Each time I touch my head, I get a handful. Gross, messy, I'm ready. Yep . . . I am redd-eee! At least, I think so . . . no, I know so! Really, it's time. I mean, it's gonna happen no matter what. I can shave it or let it sprinkle out all over my house. Even if I do have the length still in the back. The top is sick-looking. It needs to be done, it is time. I'm almost sure I am ready. I could let it go another few days, maybe a week. I can still wear a hat to cover the top and the bottom looks like my hair is still normal. With a hat, I don't look like a cancer patient. Just a chick having a bad hair day. I could still be me for a few more days . . . . . but, (deep breath) I gotta do it. At some point, I will be bald, no way around it. Do I begin bald today? Am I really, really ready? Maybe tomorrow should be The Day, hmmm . . . . . I hate cancer!