It's a Christmas miracle!

We got a call this morning from Madge, the sweet insurance coordinator for Dr. McLaughlin. We won our appeal - Blue Cross is going to cover my Cyberknife treatments! Apparently, Dr. M spoke with a doctor at BCBS and explained my case. God bless Dr. M, and God bless Madge, and God bless BCBS! The Christmas spirit is alive and well!

So I will get a call next Monday telling me my treatment time. Then I will go on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. Dr. M feels very confident that the radiation will eradicate the tumor entirely. So do I!

Meanwhile, John, the girls, and I have been enjoying the season and being home together. We have drunk gallons of hot cocoa, watched a ton of Christmas shows on TV, turned on Christmas music at dinner every night, and even went on a tacky lights tour! If you're interested, check out Hillbrooke neighborhood in Alpharetta - incredible!!

Oh yeah, and my hair has started to grow back. I have a very close crew cut on my head and teensy-eensy eyelashes. I'm hoping by the end of January I can put away the hats and scarves.

MEEEEERRRRYYY CHRISTMAS, everybody!!! I hope yours is amazing!!

I like this gut better!

On Wednesday, I went to see Dr. Salmieri and he had a more encouraging outlook. He talked with Dr. McLaughlin and instead of more cancer causing my levels to go up, he feels it could be from these two remaining nodes. Dr. M. wanted to know how he could be sure, and he responded he didn't know! He said he could only treat what he knew about and right now the scans show only those two nodes. He wants to eliminate them and then see what happens. So I will be having Cyberknife alone for now. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!

I went yesterday to Dr. M's office to get the planning started. They did a simulation and a CT scan. I will have the actual treatments on Dec. 27, 28, and 29. Each treatment could last up to 2 hours. He gives a prescription for Valium to take beforehand, so John will have to drive me to each one. Thank goodness he is home from work! But I appreciate all the offers to help, it's nice to know I can count on help!!

I asked Dr. S how long we would watch my numbers before possibly going back on chemo. He said 2 months since the cyberknife can cause inflammation which can cause my level to rise. He wants to give it some time to "settle in." I also asked him if he would start chemo with only my CA125 as an indicator. He said no, not if I didn't have any other symptoms. So the plan is to have the Cyberknife done, keep watching my CA125, keep getting scans, and get back to living my life! I'm just excited because with a guarantee of 2 months without chemo, my hair should come back! That will make me feel better more than anything!

Thank you, everyone, for all your good wishes and prayers for me! It's been hard to stay positive this whole time, but it's easier with my cheerleaders!!

Waiting til Monday . . .

Yesterday, John and I met with Dr. McLaughlin again. After finding out my CA125 is up to 40, I decided to go ahead with the Cyberknife option. But when I told Dr. M that my level is rising, he gave me some disappointing info. He said his gut is telling him that there is more cancer than just the two lymph nodes . . . he said if there were just those 2 nodes, my levels would be remaining near the same, but with a marked increase it's indicative of more cancer. It's just not showing up yet on scans. Great.

He's going to talk with Dr. Salmieri on Monday and the two of them will decide the best next course of treatment. He said he could go ahead and do Cyberknife on the two nodes and knock them out of the way. Then I might need more chemo if my CA125 doesn't go down after that.

I am praying that his "gut" is wrong, and it is the two nodes alone that are causing my numbers to go up. And that the Cyberknife treatment alone will put me back in remission. Anything is possible, God is still the God of miracles!

I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers! So so so much!!

Some scary stuff

I'm in shock - my CA125 is rising! It has gone from 31 to 40 since last month. I guess those 2 lymph nodes do have active cancer in them. Too much time without any kind of treatment and it starts growing again. Yuck!!

So it looks like I will be choosing the Cyberknife option . . . as long as my insurance will cover it. I have to talk to the patient coordinator to get the process rolling. Insurance approval is step one.

Will keep you all posted . . .

Happy Thanksgiving!

I did see Dr. McLaughlin on Monday. Mom and John came along. He explained my options and the pros and cons of each. For those two remaining lymph nodes in my abdomen, I have four choices -
1. Do nothing. It could be dying tissue and in a matter of time it will go away. Or, it could still be active cancer and begin growing again without treatment. No way to know for sure.
2. Surgery. This isn't really an option since the lymph nodes are right next to my aorta and he explained that the blood pressure in the aorta is the same as a fire hydrant. In order to remove the nodes, they would have to take out a margin around them. That margin would include my aorta - no thank you!
3. More chemo. This will be a sure way to treat the nodes, but it will also affect my whole body meaning more feeling crappy. He also said your body can get too much chemo and the tumor can desensitize to it.
4. Cyberknife. This would zap the cancer in the nodes and prevent the possibility of it regrowing there. But it is radiation and could have side effects like ulceration of the intestines. Also, I would need an outpatient procedure to have tiny seeds made out of gold implanted in the nodes. These would be the target points for the radiation, like the tattoos were the first time. The treatments could last up to 2 hours each day for 3-5 days. I would need a driver each time to take me all the way to Kennestone in Marietta.

So, right now I am waiting for my CA125 results which I had drawn yesterday. My last one was 31. If my level is going down, then I might just wait it out and do nothing. If it's not a significant decrease, I might decide to do the Cyberknife. As much as I am ready to be done with all this, I don't want to give the cancer a chance to start growing again. And I DO NOT WANT MORE CHEMO!!!

For now, I am feeling thankful that I get to enjoy the holiday without nausea or ickiness. I hope everyone has a wonderful THANKSGIVING!

Cyberknife may be a possiblity

Dr. Salmieri has sent my records to a Dr. Mark McLaughlin at Kennestone Hospital in Marietta. He is a radiation oncologist who specializes in Cyberknife. I have an appt with him on Monday to determine if I'm a good candidate for this treatment. Basically, it's high intensity radiation with a laser beam. It might work on those two remaining lymph nodes in my upper abdomen.

I've been feeling really great. My feet are getting that "pins and needles itchy" feeling which makes me believe the neuropathy is going away and sensation is coming back in them. My hair hasn't started growing back yet, but I check it every day! I'm still working and haven't had to take any sick days in a while. I'm hoping this is finally the end of the tunnel!

Biopsy cancelled

Apparently, they don't think they will be able to get to the lymph nodes in the center of my chest safely. So they cancelled the biopsy for tomorrow. I guess I'll wait for a call from Dr. S tomorrow to find out the next step . . .